My 10 Vipassana retreat in Hsin Shr, Taiwan Part II

August 14, 2007

So Part II. I didn’t get around to writing this post on the weekend I said I would. Luckily, my meditation practice (which I’ve been able to rigorously keep up) has brought me to a more Liberated space where I can procrastinate guilt free.

I did some Googling on Vipassana retreats in Taiwan and found this post by Prince Roy. Great post! It’s actually a click through from another post about Spicy Girl’s course. I love the photos of the “Captain’s Chairs to Enlightenment.” Meditation centers usually have a wide array of pillows, cushions and stools which are available to meditators. As you can imagine, sitting for long periods of time can get at the very least uncomfortable, and often very painful. When the pain first hits you, there is the tendency to do whatever you can to alleviate it, a normal human response. But one quickly discovers that no matter how many layers of comfort one piles on, the discomfort and pain eventually rise to the surface. Like cream. I also confess that during my first course in 2000 I had my billowy throne, my liberation lounge-chair. As I mentioned in the previous post, you learn (through experience) that working with the pain is actually an effective method of developing panna. When I was a new student, this realization came to me after the 5th day. Slowly the layers of cushions and strategically placed blankets began to be stripped away. Mostly the pain remained, but my reaction to it changed. And when those pain-free moments, even minutes, manifested themselves there was no illusion that they were the result of 10 inches of cotton padding on my ass.

This retreat took me for a loop because on the first 3 days, I could not sit for more than 10 minutes because of the pain. In the end I discovered the “zen chair”, which saved me. It was just uncomfortable enough to start getting painful after 30 or 40 minutes of sitting. (You can see it in the slide show) Sitting at home now, I can still manage 2 daily sessions in my regular half-lotus position, but if I do another course I will have to go back to the zen chair. In any case, I found my rhythm on Day 4.

Speaking of Day 4, it’s supposed to be an “important” day, as this is the day that we recieve instructions on how to do Vipassana. (the first 3 days are for Annapanna, or breath observation) While Goenka’s recorded instructions were playing on the speakers, a funeral procession was making its way down Hsin Shr’s main street. As it approached the center, it got progressivley louder. So much so that the AT had to keep turning up the volume. It got really loud in the meditation hall at one point and since funerals crawl along at a slug’s pace, the battle of noise persited for a good 5 minutes. Those of you who live in Taiwan know the din these processions make, and there is nothing enlightening or peaceful about them.  The loudest portion of funeral processions is usually the Karaoke bus. (I Googled “Taiwan funeral karaoke bus” and the only shot which suited my needs is–surprise, surprise–from Michael Turton’s Flickr account. I am shamelessly stealing it. If you wannafightabouddit Mike, you’ll have to come get me. Just let me know so I can get the barbecue going first…) Picture one or two woebegone women in wornout costumes hanging off poles at the back of one of these contraptions, singing and dancing. They use microphones and broadcast as loudly a their speakers will allow. It was such a bizarre juxtaposition. I had to work hard to contain myself. All things considered, this wasn’t as off the wall as the constant booming coming from the rifle range. Less than 1 km from the center is a military base. Roughly 6 out of 10 mornings-but who’s counting?- starting around 9 am the shooting would start and continue until 11 or 12. While the boys reloaded, the bawan sellers (imagine a deep-fried dumpling on steroids) would promenade up and down the Hsin Shr strip, screaming ,  “Bawan!” also over loudspeakers. These added touches would never happen at a center in the US or Canada, where the atmosphere is “ideal” for meditation. But what is ideal? Dealing with this was just more opportunity to develop equanimity. Like the snoring in the dorm was. Like the freak who sat next to me every meal who ate with the demeanor of a professional cheerleader, snapping beans into his mouth one by one, zing-zing-zing-zing. Like the freak on the other side who managed to make slurping sounds even while eating salad. Like the the freak in the middle who was eating so slowly he looked like a 3-toed sloth. Hey wait a minute…that one was me.

All in all, it was a great course. I deepened my understanding of some things which before I did not see. For instance, I discovered that consummating the sexual urge, wether under the auspices of a loving relationship, in the seedy underbelly of a redlight district, or the singular comfort of a chair and screen all lead ultimately to some degree of suffering. Perhaps a topic for another post? In any case, I won’t become chaste anytime soon, but it was an amazing experience to make the discovery without any self-judgement. On another note, my relationship with my kids seems to be improving, and the usually ever-present feeling that nothing I am doing about anything is enough is vastly diminished, sometimes completely gone. If I can continue sitting once or twice a day it will be beneficial for me and for the ones I care for. Ja-yo!

Posted in commentary, personal, taiwan